Question: What do you really want?
I know that sometimes it's easy to want what everyone else wants but in reality it's not what we want for ourselves. I'll give you an example:
If like me you're nearly 30, the expectation is that you should have it all figured out by now. By this age, I should have a great career, a house/mortgage, married, kids....etc. But what if I don't want all of those things or at least just not in that order? I might decide to try out a few career options before following one career path or I might even decide to start a business instead of the usual: get a good job, work for forty years and then retire. The expectation is that I should have it all figured out by now. Do you ever feel like there are all these social pressures or is it just me?
Add to that peer pressure and expectations we get from our family and loved ones such as a partner. At times family expect you to take certain career paths, some parents even have their children's lives all mapped out.
It can be especially difficult in romantic relationships: when one person expects too much from the other, leading to unrealistic or potentially unwanted goals. So it's what they want or who they want you to be, not your own personal goals or at least a goal that you both want in your relationship.
These are some of the pressures that I've felt in my life and what I've learnt is that we all have different ways to success in life. What I know is that for now, I'm still working on creating my vision and discovering what I want out of life. It's a process that takes time. And some of us take longer than others to find our path. Which is why I have become so passionate about personal development, to learn more about myself and to find my purpose/s in life.
So, let me ask again, what do you really want? And if you are struggling to answer this, you are not alone. I felt that way too, so I found a solution and I got intentional about finding out what I want!
HOW:
The first thing you can do is to review your life. You can do this by looking at each area of your life and analyse how things are going. Here are some important areas to include:
- Love and Relationships
- Family & Friends. Romantic.
- Finances: Your money matters.
- Career/Business
- Health and Fitness
- Personal Development
- Spirituality
- Lifestyle:
- Social life
- Recreation & Fun
- Passions
- Projects
Give yourself a score out of 10 in each life area. A great tool I would recommend is on Michael Hyatt's site to find out your Lifescore. It gives you a clear picture of the areas that you can improve and the areas that you may want to focus on going forward.
Feel free to email me if you want any extra tips on evaluating different life areas. I would be happy to help.
Now that you have a better idea of where you are in each area of your life, you can begin to figure out how to get to what you want. What would make it a perfect 10?
- Think of ways to improve your score - what actions or tasks can you do to get your score closer to 10.
- Find out what you want to Be, Do and Have, in each area.
- Start creating some goals
In the Health and fitness area, I gave myself a 6/10 and some ideas that would make this closer to a 10 are: to eat fruit and vegetables daily, run a few times a week and go swimming once a month.
After looking at these ideas, I created a new goal to run the Manchester 10km this year, so I definitely need focus on training for the 10km by running at least 2-3 times a week and physically prepare for the race. Ultimately with this goal, I want to:
- BE - healthier and fitter
- DO - the 10km run
- HAVE - a better body
The most important thing for me with each goal I create is that I am Happy and Organised. This is one thing we all want really, to be happy. And of course being organised is a bonus to a happy life (For me least) What do you think? Tell me in the comments below.
Make sure your goals are SMART goals, this helps you define your goals in more detail.
Specific – detailed explanation of what you want to carry out.
Measurable – how will you know when you have achieved it?
Attainable – can you break it down into manageable steps?
Realistic – is it too easy or is it a challenge.
Time-bound – when will you do it - put a date and time.
For some great tips on how to set your goals in life and in business, you can read a guest post I wrote here:
NEXT: Turn your Goals into Daily Habits
Once you have some goals write them down. Then narrow them down to less than 5. WHY, you might ask, well because the best way to get more done is to focus on one thing at a time! Then move on to the next. Think about it if you try to do everything at once – how much will you really get done??
It's now time to take ACTION by turning your goals into daily habits. A habit is a small action taken daily, directly related to your goals. Think about what to do and how to do it?
The best way I've found to create daily habits is to break down each goal into smaller manageable chunks, i.e. small tasks that will get you closer to your goal. And by creating a habit you begin to work on your goals daily, getting you closer to what you want out of life. (I go into much more detail about this in my monthly newsletter for subscribers).
Focus on one thing until it's done.Start with your top 3 goals: these are the goals that will make the biggest change in your life now just focus on them. Remember having too many goals, can put a strain on your willpower so it's best to start with the most important one first.
It's now time to take ACTION by turning your goals into daily habits. A habit is a small action taken daily, directly related to your goals. Think about what to do and how to do it?
The best way I've found to create daily habits is to break down each goal into smaller manageable chunks, i.e. small tasks that will get you closer to your goal. And by creating a habit you begin to work on your goals daily, getting you closer to what you want out of life. (I go into much more detail about this in my monthly newsletter for subscribers).
'What gets measured gets done!'
A great way to make sure stay on track with goals and habits is to measure them by keeping track of these daily habits. I downloaded a great habit tracker from a fab blogger, who has passion and ambition to do more and be more in life Fiona of: finallyfiona.com. I’ve been using this Habit Tracker since January 2017 and it’s made such a big difference to my progress. I hope it helps you too.
Source: finallyfiona.com |
In summary:
- Review where you are in life right now
- Figure out what you want and focus on that
- Create some goals and turn them into small daily habits
Finally, measure your actions by keeping track of your daily habits. Here's to you not only getting what you want but knowing exactly what you want. Feel free to let me know what you discover.
Natalie-Claire x
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